tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post5434191423172597955..comments2024-01-18T05:02:46.000-08:00Comments on Tiny Grace Notes (Ask an Autistic): Pronoun Problems (Asides on Self-Loathing and Gender)Elizabeth J. (Ibby) Gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08330631899371657005noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-31606304145731139622013-05-19T03:51:17.175-07:002013-05-19T03:51:17.175-07:00I don't know if I do this, but I'd be will...I don't know if I do this, but I'd be willing to suspect I do, and that it contributes to the problem I have where I give answers that don't make sense and seem dismissive. I never have any memory of what I said, so it's nearly impossible for me to try and go back and analyze to try and figure it out. Definitely happens more when I'm stressed or tired though... Thanks for the insights; definitely worth (metaphorically) chewing on for a while.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-68191635332748886172013-05-18T15:08:03.464-07:002013-05-18T15:08:03.464-07:00I will often refer to myself as 'you'. I t...I will often refer to myself as 'you'. I think that I do it mostly when I am trying to explain something to another person (that is, I don't think of myself as 'you' in my head, only when I am speaking out loud)It has caused quite a lot of confusion and strange reactions from people in the past! Because I am aware of it these days, even though I still say you when I mean I, I am quick to correct the error.<br />It makes sense to me to say 'you' instead of 'I' when explaining something to someone because I think in pictures and when I am talking about something that I have done I see a picture of myself in my head. But the picture is not of me inside my self but me projected onto a landscape. So then there is the me that is talking and thinking and the separate image of the me that I am talking about. And as you can't really have two 'mes' I think my language centers think of the projected me as a you.<br />Make sense?Susan Krusehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08244475165823968529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-89719025241278852462013-05-14T06:59:57.565-07:002013-05-14T06:59:57.565-07:00Like you, I notice that my son tends to confound p...Like you, I notice that my son tends to confound pronouns most when he's tired or upset. For example, at the end of a long day or early in the morning, or during a therapy session, it seems to be the most pronounced. He will also mix-up Mommy and Daddy.ASD Dadhttp://www.asddad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-86287816344699609242013-05-11T17:51:14.439-07:002013-05-11T17:51:14.439-07:00I mix up ma'am and sir all the time. I will sa...I mix up ma'am and sir all the time. I will say "yes sir" to ladies or "yes ma'am" to men. This happens a lot especially when I am nervous. I also don't help my case by not looking at people.Erin McKinneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07068373795392371479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-35678249891736820432013-05-10T09:09:29.992-07:002013-05-10T09:09:29.992-07:00Wow. I perceived thus the same way ariane did. I...Wow. I perceived thus the same way ariane did. I "heard" you day "I"professorlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09753671973178820364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-85056891521450451982013-05-10T09:02:35.290-07:002013-05-10T09:02:35.290-07:00I tend to mix up I/you/they when I'm talking i...I tend to mix up I/you/they when I'm talking in abstract or conceptual terms. Not so much when I'm talking in concrete terms. My husband's first language is one in which there are no pronouns and so he still after many years of speaking English will use he and she randomly at times, regardless of the gender of the person he's talking about, especially if the subject and object of a sentence have different genders. <br /><br />So pronoun usage in our home can be very entertaining. <br /><br />Also, I just moved to an apartment that is across the street from a train station and a train museum. Trains go by all day long! They whistle and rumble by and I swear I'm the only person who happily stands there mesmerized by them while everyone else fumes at the inconvenience of waiting for a 200-car freight train to make its way through the intersection while traffic backs up for miles. I thought you should know this and I'm too lazy to go find somewhere else to tell you about it, so here it is. Cynthiahttp://musingsofanaspie.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-55729986783331662172013-05-09T18:27:14.809-07:002013-05-09T18:27:14.809-07:00Two things... one "you-substitution" is ...Two things... one "you-substitution" is like calculus! (I'm doing a lot of calculus this term for one of my classes) and secondly, I have a reason for my messing up the "you" vs "I/me" thing. I have a constant stream of "narration" going on inside my head as if I'm narrating a book about my life in first-person, as I'm doing everything. ("I typed quickly, trying to get my thoughts into the comment box...") But sometimes it switches to being an outside narrator, either from 3rd person, or on occasion, the narrator is talking to me, about me. ('she paused in her writing to take a sip of the smoothie she had made, carefully gnawing on the straw and feeling it crinkle")... so quite often, my verbal pronouns get confused. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-20418700864074323272013-05-09T14:52:16.204-07:002013-05-09T14:52:16.204-07:00When you said, last night on the radio, "You ...When you said, last night on the radio, "You need an excellent partner" or whatever your exact wording was, I knew you meant it specific to you and that you were referring to Layenie and that you were saying how wonderful she was, so reading this I was surprised that you hadn't said, "i" because I had inserted the correct pronoun into your sentence upon hearing you, without even realizing it! The other thing is, pronouns are curious and in Buddhism they talk about "no separate self" which is when you become really aware of just how separate we are all trying so desperately to be! Which is kind of funny in a not so funny way. I like feeling connected and my favorite moments are when "you" and "I" are experiencing the same thing together, often silently, which is lovely and special and those are the very best moments in the world! Love this post Ib and I love you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13287287238883728249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-46352859286627536012013-05-09T13:49:35.615-07:002013-05-09T13:49:35.615-07:00And malapropisms! You are making it a good day! By...And malapropisms! You are making it a good day! By 'you' I mean you. Grin!!Elizabeth J. (Ibby) Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08330631899371657005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-1927422874911776072013-05-09T13:48:34.890-07:002013-05-09T13:48:34.890-07:00One is in love with this comment, not least becaus...One is in love with this comment, not least because one would never have dared to dream that the singularly sparkly word "tiara" would appear on one's blog! Happy dance! xxElizabeth J. (Ibby) Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08330631899371657005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-62776820765814294032013-05-09T11:07:36.320-07:002013-05-09T11:07:36.320-07:00When I am anxious, I spout gibberish. Reading this...When I am anxious, I spout gibberish. Reading this, I realize that some of it is pronoun related. This is a revelation of sorts and it lightens my head to hear it. I never thought to look for patterns in my mashed up anxious patter--but they are there and they are neurological--spoonerisms and malapropisms plus pronoun confusions. Amazing insight! :)A Quiet Weekhttp://aquietweek.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1725958813857579465.post-43596557802854160412013-05-09T10:41:12.016-07:002013-05-09T10:41:12.016-07:00Very interesting. The problem with using "yo...Very interesting. The problem with using "you" when not directly referring to the person you are talking to is that it's informal so more easy to confuse people. The correct word is "one" but then you sound like the Queen! "One needs to wear one's tiara to State banquets".<br /><br />I'm actually quite expert at deciphering mixed hes/shes because of my grandmother. She had a brain tumour and forget everyone's name. During TV programmes she would say "It's him, he was in that thing with her. You know, the one who got divorced. He's got bigger, no not Him, the other one that used to be in the same thing".<br /><br />Sometimes, however, one just nods along and pretend that one knows what the heck one's grandmother is talking about! And pray it won't happen to oneself in the future.<br />Jo who can't think of a clever nicknamehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02663450738390351663noreply@blogger.com